How to choose the right lube for you?

Woman lying in sexy pose on bed

Well we have we opened a can of worms with this topic. This is one of those ‘how much time do you have?’ questions that you could probably write a book about.

Ronda Rousey the female MMA champion that has been all over the news recently stated that ‘you dont need lube if youre doing things right’. Well I am afraid that doesn’t cut it for most women even those in peak physical condition.

There are literally scores of reasons why a women’s hormones can be affected including using birth control, breastfeeding, pregnancy and other external factors. Not to mention the fact that women naturally lubricate less as they get older.

So that’s a ridiculous statement from Ronda, but then we probably wouldn’t say that to her face…

And of course that doesn’t take into account her partner. Or in other words, of course penis size is relevant and some women and just built smaller, and some men much larger than others. Using a sexual lubricant enhances all lovemaking, even for younger, super horny couples.

It reduces the risks of injury and cuts and abrasions as well which lessens the chance of contracting an STD or developing UTI’s.

So how to actually choose the right lube?

The very first thing you need to know is a total paradox. Or in other words, its a big WTF. You can’t use silicone based lubricants with silicone toys. Now if you just take that away from this article, then you have saved yourself a lot of grief.

The reason is that silicone toys are generally more expensive, and the last thing you want to do is ruin your $130 We Vibe by using the wrong type of lube.

So the easiest thing to do is simply used Water Based Lubricants because these work great with all sex toys, then you can’t go wrong in theory.

But why are silicone based lubricants like Wet Stuff Gold and Pjur Woman so popular? Well simply because silicone based lubricants are more effective and ‘long lasting’ than less sophisticated water based formulations.

You also need to use less which means basically they are more concentrated, and certainly more longer lasting that water based lubes. But… there are other cons such as cleaning up is harder (silicone does not wash out in water so easily – you need to use soap).

Silicone is also a little harder to get out of fabrics and sheets, although not impossible and also they tend to leave a coating on your skin. But because silicone is a natural substance that’s not a problem. In fact your skin will absorb the silicone naturally over time if simply left there.

And just to confuse matters, not all silicone lubes are the same. While Wet Stuff Gold for example is really popular and considered a top quality live – Pjur Woman is just in another class altogether.

Recently they have added many smaller size bottles which means customers like you can experience a really high quality lube in a 10ml bottle for less than the cost of a regular lube.

One thing I do want to say and that is do avoid KY Lube the type of stuff sold at supermarkets etc. In fact, most of the lubricants sold in supermarkets we really wouldn’t recommend. They are fine for a friday night fling, but you will get much better lubes by concentrating on the less mass produced stuff and choosing a brand like Wet Stuff or Pjur.

I have met the owners of both these companies and believe me, they really understand their customers and do not compromise on safety and quality.

There is a lot to be said for biting the bullet and buying a really good quality lubricant like Pjur Woman and simply using less of the stuff making it better value in the long term. It’s the lube I choose and recommend to friends, and have been doing for about 11 years. Everyone loves it!

That reminds of when we went shopping for a baby seat a few weeks back. The guy in the shop was going through all the spiels about all the seats and the features and I was trying to compare them in my head. I was running out of time so I simply said ‘Which baby seat would you put your child in?”.

He quickly offered that he had just recommended and installed the Britax for his niece yesterday. I really wish salespeople would just cut to the chase sometimes. Of course I bought a Britax – and it’s fantastic by the way.

If you have any more questions about choosing the right lube then please get in touch.

Did Fifty Shades of Grey really increase emergency dept visits?

Picture of gray tie lying on floor

Did Fifty Shades of Gray really help increase sex toy injuries at emergency rooms since its release?

It seems someone out there actually pays attention to the amount of injuries caused by sex toys and the Washington Post has compiled an interesting chart that attempts to suggest that an increase in sex toys injuries reported in emergency departments can somehow be linked to the release of Fifty Shades of Gray in 2007.

In my opinion, release of 50 Shades of Gray has absolutely nothing to do with an increase in emergency department cases in the US.

A closer look at the chart reveals that most of these reported injuries were actually trending up since the beginning of the millennium some fifteen years ago, more than seven years before FSOG was even released. This increase in sexual liberation I think has more to do with Generation X and Y being sexually active and very sexually aware due to the proliferation of porn on the internet.

Whats more, there was definitely an upsurge in the industry after the Global Financial Crisis as people tightened their belts and spent less money on entertainment such as movies and restaurants and instead stayed at home and treated themselves instead to more sex toys they could enjoy with their partner – again and again! It is well known that sex, sex toys and the adult industry in general is pretty much not only immune to recessions but it actually thrives in a climate where people are looking for inexpensive entertainment that provides immediate gratification and well needed boost in Dopamine for zero cost.

Its also interesting to note that most of the emergency room cases involved the insertion of foreign objects by males. Presumably this means that the item in question got ‘stuck up there’. I would suggest that the problem here is not sex toys at all, but rather the use of foreign objects that really aren’t designed in the first place, for that purpose. Presumably this mostly occurs not during any sort of role play involving bondage but merely through sexual exploration while masturbating.

There is a reason that we have a category called ‘Butt plugs’ the suggestion being that these devices with their tapered ends will prevent the object from getting lost in the first place. All our rabbit vibrators are also excellent for anal play because the rabbit’s ears (essentially the clitoral stimulator) when used by a man will also prevent it getting stuck. In this case, the clitoral stimulator actually becomes a testicle massager and products such as the mini ivibe with its reduced overall size and perfect for this type of use. In fact, it is well known in the industry that the mini iVibe is popular with gay males.

The fact is that the sex toy industry has been growing very strongly for the past 15 years and will continue to grow as the more liberal younger generations grows up. There is also a global trend in developing countries for young people to remain single – both men and women. This of course encourages masturbation.

What are phthalates? Can we avoid them?

What are phthalates and are how can they be avoided?

Unfortunately, unless you live life as an Amazonian Pygmie – avoiding potentially harmful phthalates in everyday common household items is next to impossible. And considering their life expectancy is just 24 years, I wouldn’t recommend that either.

It’s possibly the hardest word to both spell and say that I have every come across, which if you were a conspiracy theorist you might say was done of purpose to make it hard for its meaning to get any traction amongst general consumers. But if you think phthalates is awkward, don’t even think about trying to remember the actual chemical names that this family of chemicals includes such as ‘di-2-ethylhexyl phthalate’.

Phthalates (pronounced f-THAL-lates) are actually a family of chemicals used in the production of plastics and vinyls, primarily to soften them. They are basically everywhere and used in literally thousands of consumer products. However, there is more and more research which suggests that that they may be harmful for us humans in large quantities. Something like a half a billion kilograms of phthalates are produced each year and they are prolific in common consumer products that women use everyday such as perfume, hair spray, shampoo, laundry detergents, insect repellents, vinyl flooring, carpet, plastic toys – even your car steering wheel! There are also phthalates in the air itself, from the dust in building materials.

Even milk in a glass bottle could be exposed to them through the plastic tubes used in the milking process!

Femplay New Zealand sells a wide range of products and most of these contain plastics. Many of them however are phthalate free and wherever possible, if they are we will let you know on the product page. In fact (unlike many other retailers who don’t like to talk about this issue) we also have a phthalate free section on the site under the Vibrators category.

Many adult shops suggest that customer who have concerns about sex toys that contain phthalates that they should use a condom over the toy. However, according to Ted Schettler the sciene director at the Science and Environmental Health Network, who is the author of a several research papers on phthalates there are simply no specific studies that confirm this. However, he did suggest that it would be a likely conclusion that latex condoms (that do not contain phthalates) would lessen the exposure.

Now to the specific question about whether using sex toys that contain phthalates is actually risky, the general conclusion by scientists seems to be that there is not enough data to suggest a correlation, or in other words there have not been enough specific studies into the use of sex toys that contain phthalates and the consequential health risks. Studies have shown however on rats exposed to high amounts of these compounds that they can cause damage to the liver, kidneys, lungs and testes and specifically they can cause hormonal disruption. There is also a preliminary study suggestion a relationship between phthalates and a reduction in semen quality in humans – and also genital development. A study in 2002 caused the FDA to suggest that infant males who were suffering from an illness (and presumably had a compromised immune system), and were undergoing treatment in addition to other vulnerable patients could be harmed by phthalate exposure specifically from vinyl medical devices.

So the two approaches you can take to limit exposure to phthalates in sex toys are as follows:

(1) Choose only Phthalate free sex toys. (2) Use a latex condom on the sex toy. So how do you know which toys contain phthalates and which do not? Basically every toy that doesn’t say its phthalate free you can assume may contain these compounds. Popular branded products like We Vibe are phthalate free and there is a reasonable assumption that they would be very careful to ensure this is the case in order to protect their brand.

Personally, I don’t think its a big deal in terms of sex toys just considering the already massive and unavoidable exposure one gets from these compounds from everyday life. The additional exposure using an adult toy that contains them might give you, in my opinion, is insignificant. But at least with some better understanding of the risks and dangers we can all make our own decisions and perhaps wherever possible, avoid phthalates.